Sunday, January 19, 2014

A Year Older

Tomorrow is my birthday.  I will be turning the big 34! I can't believe it!  I have to say, that I am very lucky in all that I have had a chance to accomplish and do. (now, I know this might sound like I am tooting my own horn.. but really it is to remind myself that I have had a chance to do some amazing things)
In my 34 years I have:
- had the privilege to work in a school for 12 years
- been named TCEA Teacher of the Year
- been named NSBA 20 Educators to Watch
- been named Elliott Teacher of the Year
- been named Irving ATPE Teacher of the year
- been named Region 10 ATPE Teacher of the year
- attend various conferences
- Co-Host for 2 podcsasts (Stocktalk and EdTech Chat n Chew)
- received my masters in Educational Technology
- married a wonderful man who keeps me on my toes
- have 2 great dogs
- have the most amazing family
- have some amazing friends
- member of various Professional Learning Organizations
this list could go on forever.  I think that sometimes when we are done we forget to remind ourselves of the things that we have accomplished and survived during our life.

But then as I write this blog.. I have the fear.  I am so thankful for everything that I have.. but I so want more (I know that sounds needy)
This year my word is Balance.  I wrote about it over here.

I have been spending a ton of time on the trail this year (goal is #500in2014)  I am almost at 30 miles for this month!



I have already noticed a small difference in my body.  I am able to go for longer periods, my body is slimming down again (yay for losing weight and not paying a gym to do it!), and my brain enjoys the break.  But on the days that the weather is lovely.. the days that I get on the trail to get away and work on BALANCE are sometimes the hardest days to push myself and be motivated.  I know that those are the days that when I get on the trail there are going to be parents walking with their children in a stroller, the moms riding their bikes with their little girls, the picnics that happen along the way.  I am turning 34.. and my fear of never becoming a mother gets a little larger every day.  But, that is why I began this blog with a reminder of the great things I have accomplished.  On a side note, I do not write these blogs for sympathy.. I really do love every bit of my life! As a person going through infertility.. sometimes it is helpful to get it on "paper" and connect with others on the journey.  

Wonder what this year will bring!  

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Vision/Goal Board Recap

It has been almost 2 months since I posted a blog here (I do have several other blogs that I keep up with) But this blog I keep for my more personal journey.  I have been a little down this Christmas season.  Not because I don't have everything that I could want, I have a roof over my head, I have a lovely family, and amazing friends.... but it is still hard.  I love all of the pictures of the families celebrating Christmas, opening presents on Christmas morning, and just the pure joy of a child's face on Christmas (or any day for that matter)
I have the coolest parents ever!
This year my parents came down for the second time to play Texas Santa and Mrs. Claus at the Fort Worth Stockyards.

But as I watched my amazing parents interact with the various kiddos and families my heart hurt a little bit.  I wanted to be the parent watching their child have wonder and joy in their eyes as they met Santa.  I really thought this would be my year.  

But, enough of the pity party (well.. I know I will have more)

I looked back at my Vision board and realized how far my husband and I have come even with the tough times we face every year!

A few highlights-
-Become an Instructional Technology Specialist or Assistive Technology Specialist---- check!  I am an Instructional Technology Specialist at my elementary school this year
-Not open any credit cards for the year---check!  Not only that.. but we also have not spent any money on credit cards this year!  HUGE accomplishment
-Lose weight- I started last year at 220.2 and got below 199 this last summer.  I started a new job and started medicine to get pregnant and snuck back up to 208.8 (not pleased with this at all.. 11.4 pounds in one year---so a semi check?  Today I purchased new work out clothes and a new leash for the puppy!
-Keep money in our savings account--- check! This has been one of my proudest goals to complete :)

Everyone has their own journey and their own trials.  Each year hubby and I face hardships.  They might not be like other families, but they are ones that keep us on our toes none the less. 

I look forward to working on my new vision board this weekend with new goals.  Have you set goals?  Do you have a vision for yourself?  Do you revisit the goals that you have set?






Sunday, October 27, 2013

Next Step

I need to start all my blogs with this disclaimer-
I am SO very excited about all of my friends that are now pregnant.  I think of all friends that are on this TTC journey (no matter what stage) I know my friends are going to make AMAZING moms!

With the clomid not working correctly this last month (and truthfully.. I think that it was because of the stress I was going through and also being sick) I have stepped back and reevaluated where I am.

Here are some things that I have noticed:
1- Since school has started, I have not done very well at staying on a good diet and exercising.
2- Since school has started my schedule has been SO busy.. and by the time I get home I am in no mood to do anything other than sit in front of the TV
3-Financially going to the dr. and all of the meds is tough!

Here are the things I am going to do:
I am only going to take the Metformin this next month.  I am going to take a month off of meds (clomid 150 made my emotions go through the roof!)
1-I have signed up for myfitnesspal (find me akbusybee)  I also have 2 accountability partners that I am going to be using so I can stay on top of it.  Also.. as I was balancing my checkbook today, I realized how much money I am going to save because I won't be doing as much fast food!  I also went to the grocery store today and bought snacks to keep in my office!
2-This is my FIRST week the whole school year that I do not have any meetings!  So, I am going to take advantage of this by getting back on the exercise track! I did cancel my gym membership (that will save me money every month) but our school offers Zumba classes on Monday and Friday so I will be taking advantage of those!  I have already set out my workout clothes for tomorrow.
3- Now, financially... is anyone ever really ready to start a family?  I figure taking off one month, however, will help us get a little more in order.  I have also recently become a Jamberry Nail Consultant.  You can check out my website here

I will continue to send lots of love, prayers, and babydust to all of my friends!  Please continue to send love, prayers, and babydust my way too.  I appreciate all of the journeys that I am able to follow along with, as this is such a tough and emotional roller coaster ride!

Monday, October 14, 2013

#TTCSisters

I decided to name this post #TTCsisters (trying to conceive), because it is my favorite uplifting hashtag on instagram. I have several instagram accounts.. and my private weight loss/TTC is the one I go to get motivated to stay on track with losing weight.. and where I go to when I need to be around others that understand the toughness of infertility.

This past week I went to the Dr. for a third time.  We went through the month with 50mg of clomid.. and had some progress.  The second month at 100mg of clomid I actually had a follicle the size that was needed!  I did not get pregnant, but my Dr. decided to up my clomid to 150mg.  I scheduled my sonogram for last Thursday and went in.  This was a fairly disheartening visit.  I had some growth, but not what was needed.  I am going to chalk this up to the stress of some home stuff that is going on (nothing we can't overcome.. but stress none the less) and I was sick.    Since starting school I have also not been as good about staying on track with eating well.
Found this awesome blog, and this pretty much sums it up!  Thanks Lovely Little Life
This next month I will be trying fermara and getting back on track with getting out and moving!  Sending lots of #babydust and love to all my #pcossisters and #ttcsisters

Monday, August 19, 2013

Journeys

As I read back over this blog.. I realize it is a little one sided.  I have several blogs, but I have decided I am going to have this blog for more personal posts.  Being on any type of journey is hard and sharing a story is so very important.  Feel free to follow along these adventures (as you read along.. please remember this is a place for me to share our journey.. and there might be TMI sometimes!)

In my last blog I posted that I have lost some weight and that I was heading to the doctor to talk about options to start a family.

Photo by Amber Wallace

William and I married on June 17, 2005.  Just a short year later we started the journey to become parents.  I was diagnosed with PCOS and the dr. that I was seeing put me on 6 months of clomid... and never checked me out.  I was heartbroken when I didn't get pregnant, and then so very angry when I started doing my own research (no.. I am not a dr. but once you start TTC you learn a ton about the reproductive system! Being on clomid for this long and never being checked was not only a waste of money.. but also not good for my body!)  I then started going to a real infertility specialist.  I started again with the clomid, lowest dose.. and had sonograms.  Nothing.. not only nothing.. but I was having to take medicine to start my period, and then taking meds to help grow those follicles.  After being with this new dr. for about 6 months (and he was amazing!) he recommended that I have Ovarian Drilling.  This is where my husband and I decided to stop for the time being.  

In January I started on a real weigh loss mission.. and lost over 25 pounds.  What was even more exciting is that I was regular (something that I haven't ever really had!)  I decided it was time to visit the dr.  First of all.. he was impressed that I had lost so much weight.  We made a plan.

On 8/12 I went back to the dr. for a sonogram.  I had been on the lowest dose of clomid.  Guess what.. I had follicles grow!  In the past.. with the lowest dose of clomid.. it didn't do anything!  The follicles were not the size they needed to be.. but I had follicles! So, next month we are going for a larger dose.  (I am also taking metformin, dexamethasone and clomid)

Although I lost weight last year.. I have a confession.  I gained almost 9 pounds this summer.  I was so very lazy.  So to start the school year off I chose to sign up for a DietBet


Here's to new adventures in all areas!  

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Updating Adventures

So, I am sure that you are wondering how all of our goal setting has gone.. did we give up after the first month.. did we trudge along.. do we even look at the goal board?

Well, we didn't give up.. there were times that we trudged (don't we all) but I looked at the goal board EVERY day!

The Chef has been rocking it as the amazing Executive Chef at Blazes Sports Grill in Arlington.  I just finished my 11th year of teaching.

It was so refreshing to write down our goals and actually keep track of them.
Couple of goals we have already accomplished (or for now)
-The Chef is working at a job that is appreciating who he is
-We have gotten to a better spot on bills
-I was offered a job as an Instructional Technology Specialist

Well, my first confession... I failed at the 365 photo challenge!  Now, that doesn't mean that I have not taken a ton pictures (you can find me on instagram, twitter, and facebook)

I did want to share more openly about losing weight and why I wanted to.  Please feel free to stop here if you like (a little tmi).. I have lost weight.. 26.2 pounds so far!

One of my main goals was to lose weight.  I am sure that no one has ever had that goal.  I have blogged more about it here  Now.. are you ready for a confession.  I wanted to lose weight for several reasons.  One it gave me something that I could be in control of.. when everything gets so crazy!  Second.. I have PCOS (polycistic ovarian syndrome)  Having PCOS affects so many parts of my life that include losing weight (and keeping it off), irregular cycles, and most importantly getting pregnant.  My husband and I have tried for many years to start a family.  About seven years ago we went through treatment that included medicine, injections and was about to lead to surgery.  At that time we knew we needed to stop at surgery.

Left March 2012/Right May 2013

So, we never did anything to stop getting pregnant, but we didn't do any more.  Well.. I have lost some weight (26.2 pounds so far!) and because I have cut back on my sugars and other super processed food and my body has been reacting more appropriately.  Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment.  It is a regular well woman visit, but it is one that I am excited about.  No, I am not pregnant.  I am, however, going to talk with my doctor about what I might be able to do to get pregnant.  Dealing with infertility issues is a very tough road.. and one that I would not want to wish on anyone.  I am hoping that since I have lost weight, have gained more control in my monthly cycles and am just overall doing better that my body will respond to medication.

So, if you have read this far.. think good thoughts for me tomorrow.  We have been on many adventures and I already know the stress that looking into infertility treatment can bring.. but I know that I am in a much better place emotionally and physically!

Friday, January 4, 2013

Presentations

Today we actually got out of the house for a few minutes!

I am enjoying the last hours of my extremely relaxing break.  I am also working on presentations for upcoming engagements.  One of my favorite websites to use for presentations is Livebinders.com
4/365